I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
In America we eat man semen.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I can't put those talents on a resume
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
