We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
