smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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