but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
