I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We're too hungover to prance.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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