I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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