I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
