Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
