She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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