She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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