Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize