Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize