i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
