College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
