Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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