remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
