I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
