the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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