Define "chronic" masturbator.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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