Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
