D3 body, D1 cock
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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