Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
