I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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