Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
