i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
