so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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