I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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