Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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