Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
