I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
