just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
