New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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