singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
