So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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