You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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