apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
