Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
