you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
