she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Randomize
