You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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