I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
