remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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