I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize