k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Everything about him screamed your future.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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