At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
