OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
