More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
50% drunk capacity currently
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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