every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
