question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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