maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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