the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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