as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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