I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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