I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
