WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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