Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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