I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
