I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
