Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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