we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize