Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
