I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
