ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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