don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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