Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
