Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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