some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Randomize
