this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
