i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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