its not stalking. its research.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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