there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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