SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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